Incendiary Lit

I saw this article about John Edwards and his mistress Rielle Hunter on Tyler Dilts’ blog infinite space and it’s somewhat disturbing. But not entirely unbelievable. Anyone in that much of a spotlight (like during a presidential candidacy) is going to have all their skeletons removed from their closet, cataloged and filed in the public eye. It’s just too bad he seems to have his (political) heart in the right place, and yet remain something of a personal douche.

I almost called today’s Firestarter exercise “the morning after” but there are some negative connotations to that now. Thanks abortion pill– you forever stole 2 words. Which brought immediately to mind how “Here I sit” should be removed from the poet’s dictionary… well, strike that. They should be filed under the heading “DANGER WILL ROBINSON!” because no matter what your intentions, the next word that will pop into the reader’s head is “brokenhearted. ” and then they’ll think of bathroom stalls and poop and your reader’s mind is definitely in the wrong place. Well, depending on how crappy the poem is. YEAH! That’s right. A pun.  But seriously, as an editor I’ve read the phrase “here I sit” in at least five different pieces, and every time I finished the rhyme. Anyway, be careful when writing for those distinct, familiar phrases that call to mind very specific things like products (slogans), jokes, other poems… while an intention allusion is a completely different story, sometimes even common phraseology can take your reader, at least on one level, away from your poem entirely as the mind continues “came to sh*t / but only farted” despite the only similarity is “Here I sit.” Ya dig? Basically what I’m saying is, use your words with extreme caution.

Well, tonight Jason Castro left American Idol, and you know, it ain’t so bad. Personally, he was my favorite of this year… that David Cook better win now. But I’ve never really liked the people who win American Idol anyway. Except Kelly Clarkson, which makes me feel like they made a mistake and actually gave someone with some uniqueness to them. Jessica forces me to watch, I swear. But I’m also glad Blake didn’t win last year. Could you imagine him singing that god-awful, ridiculously cliched song? No, he needs to beatbox and mix his shit up, make it unique. But, his record was wayyyy more poppy than it should’ve been. Anyway, back to Jason Castro. He isn’t typical American Idol material, which means I’d be more likely buy his CD. Seems more like a folksy Ben Harper, and that’s way more up my alley than Ruben Studdard or ArchuD2.

I don’t know who it is that finds her, well, anything other than nails-on-a-chalkboard, rape-whistle-in-the-ear annoying. She even succeeded in making the X-Files, well, kinda lame. But she’s hosting the Bravo Awards. Not that I really care, but I’m digging Top Chef, and they keep showing the commercials over and over. So maybe it’s Bravo that’s grinding my gears, for thrusting her in front of me. Then again, I’m not changing the channel, so maybe what’s really grinding my gears is myself. Someone should do something about me.

I just wanted to write a little post about the idea of “Narrative Weight” in prose, because it is a place where much (especially) student writing falls short. The idea is simple enough, Every page, paragraph, even every word needs to do one of two things: further the plot or themes, or further the reader’s understanding of a character. Basically, everything you write needs to justify its own worth within the text. This isn’t quite as important in prose as it is in poetry, but it is important. You can’t just write loosey-goosey in your prose and expect to be dubbed TC Boyle Jr. or something.

So your prose’s narrative weight is one thing to consider during the editing process. Begin checking every scene to make sure that something new is occurring, or some new insight is gained, if not, either try to working something in, either a bit of foreshadowing, a bit more about your character, or something about the plot should be furthered. It is a good idea to streamline your fiction as much as you can to make it the most effective presentation of the story you’ve thought up. There you go. Another thing to consider in your writing: Narrative weight. Oftentimes extraneous detail or ancillary characters can throw off the pace of a book, or slacken the tension because they aren’t pulling their own narrative weight. So weigh your words like they’re boxers about to go into the ring or your fictional world. If they don’t weigh enough when it comes to your plot, themes or character, then it might be time to cancel that fight, perhaps give some other words a shot. Word.

Show your support for unique rhymes, and disgust for lazy poets who make easy, predictable rhymes, or, more than that, join the coalition so we can let the world know that such rhymes will no longer be tolerated! Join here! We will win the fight against ear-achingly bad rhymes.

OK, for those that haven’t heard about Golf Cannel’s Kelly Tilghman getting suspended for saying, well, here’s the link, but basically saying Tiger Woods is so good other golfers are going to resort to lynching him in a back alley, you know, because they can’t beat him. As expected, it caused a racial fervor despite Tiger Woods saying it’s a non-issue, but Al Sharpton took great offense and called for Tilghman’s firing. Golfweek decided to cover the ruckus. Editor Dave Seanor ran this cover concerning the issue. Considering the outrage over the laughing comment, the stark image of noose and the phrase “Caught in a Noose” should perhaps have been, well, caught, and rethought, but it wasn’t, and now Seanor’s out of a job, and probably permanently maligned. It’s odd. Political correctness is fine and dandy, and this definitely toes the line, but I think this is an overreaction, mainly, because the person that was actually being joked about could really care less, he can take a dumb joke. It is all too Fahrenheit 451… That’s all. Anyone else at least question the decision to fire Seanor, or the pending decision to fire Kelly Tilghman? Or is that the proper reaction? Anyone?

Regardless of who you support in the upcoming elections, this is pretty disturbing. FOX News Network, home of the so-called “Fair and Balanced,” has decided to exclude two Republican candidates from their upcoming debate this Sunday. Despite Ron Paul’s 10% of the vote in the Iowa caucus, (compared to 4% for Giuliani, and 13% for Thompson and McCain, who all received invites to the debate) Fox News has refused to allow him or Republican hopeful Duncan Hunter, citing, among other lame excuses “limited space in their studio.” Riiiight. In response, the New Hampshire Republican Party has withdrawn their sponsorship of the debate. NH Party Chairman Fergus Cullen explains: “Limiting the number of candidates who are invited to participate in debates is not consistent with the tradition of the first in the nation primary. The level playing field requires that all candidates be given an equal opportunity to participate – not just a select few determined by the media prior to any votes being cast.” Word. Way to go, Faux News.

Check out CNN’s article here.