Incendiary Lit

I was trying to think of a grabbing title, what do you think? Of course he means it, and he doesn’t mean it. Like we all do. Emotional truth right? Capsules of time and spheres of existence and…. Yeah. Anyway, I was flipping through the new New Ohio Review and saw one of Bob Hicok’s lovely long titles in the table of contents: “Having intended to merely pick on an oil company, the poem goes awry” and thought Hmm. I too feel like picking on an oil company, the Deepwater Horizon’s spill still fresh (sadly, even while writing this right here, still gushing).

Also, is it just me, or does the name Deepwater Horizon sound, at least in retrospect, like Event Horizon? About the ship attempting a form of travel (drilling) never tried before, to a place never gone before in space (the ocean) and after a mishap a dark presence is making its way toward our homes. How did we not see it coming?

Anyway, Hicok’s poem begins “Never before have I so resembled British Petroleum.” Of course, British Petroleum is the essential parent company of Transocean, operators of the Deepwater Horizon rig. Now comes the part where I say the ironic tone of the poem perhaps rings even truer in the light of the current gulf spill. The poem is anchored very well in a time not far divorced from the spill (present) with other lines referring to current events such as:

…Isn’t a corporation technically a person
and responsible? Aren’t I technically a person
and responsible?

which seems, at least to this reader, to be very much a comment on the supreme court ruling allowing corporations the rights of citizens, and therefore the right to donate to political campaigns (which gets chosen politicians, law/policy makers in a place of actually deciding law/policy, with a debt of sorts to that corporation).

Hicok critically questions his own actions, his own ineffectualness, at the same time as asking the reader to consider their own global ineffectualness without getting preachy. How? Well, because he’s a magician, mostly, but also by building a strong case of self deprecation before laying into the ubiquitous you with: “How far would you walk for bread? For the flour // to make bread?” And, as promised, the poem goes awry at the end in a very organic way. From destruction to apathy to well, what’s next? I was going to quote his line about how gently BP planned to drill for their oil, but I’ll let you discover that as it was intended, within the poem, which New Ohio Review’s graciously produced not only in their pages, but also on their website as a pdf.

Read Bob Hicok’s “Having intended to merely pick on an oil company, the poem goes awry”

Love Song: I and Thou

by Alan Dugan

Nothing is plumb, level or square:
 the studs are bowed, the joists
are shaky by nature, no piece fits
 any other piece without a gap
or pinch, and bent nails
 dance all over the surfacing
like maggots. By Christ
 I am no carpenter. I built
the roof for myself, the walls
 for myself, the floors
for myself, and got
 hung up in it myself. I
danced with a purple thumb
 at this house-warming, drunk
with my prime whiskey: rage.
 Oh I spat rage’s nails
into the frame-up of my work:
 It held. It settled plumb.
level, solid, square and true
 for that one great moment. Then
it screamed and went on through,
 skewing as wrong the other way.
God damned it. This is hell,
 but I planned it I sawed it
I nailed it and I
 will live in it until it kills me.
I can nail my left palm
 to the left-hand cross-piece but
I can’t do everything myself.
 I need a hand to nail the right,
a help, a love, a you, a wife.

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Ain’t crucifixion romantic? This was pulled from Poems Seven, New and Collected Poems by Alan Dugan. Check it out. It’s cool. Preview at google books here.

Maybe it’s because there are so many absurdities being recorded every moment, maybe it’s because I grew up watching tv, maybe it’s because I’m too affected by email-induced-ADD to sit and stare at a painting for three hours at a time, maybe it’s because of anaphora–wait. No, it’s one of the first three, but whatever, Community is hilarious. Joel McHale, longtime guru of The Soup (not Talk Soup, GAWD!) has been one of my favorite tv comedians for quite sometime (with people like John Stewart, Craig Ferguson, Stephen Colbert…) and anchors this show only ostensibly about a group of friends at a community college for various reasons, but like all sitcoms, is merely a static (ish) setting and arbitrary impetus for the ‘mismatched’ cast of characters to meet repeatedly. Yeah, it’s a formula. So is rhyme. So is using line breaks. Move along. Few shows without a static setting last very long. Remember Drive?4 freaking episodes before they got the axe, even being against the enigmatically popular Dancing with the Stars and Deal or No Deal (the two most popular shows at the time, which is a sad, sad, sad, sad statement about either the viewing public or the programing/scheduling executives.) Wait, I said move along. Anyway, Community is hilarious, I think Abed’s my favorite, but how can you pick just one flavor of peculiar? Chevy Chase pushes the Archie Bunker button quite well. Watch three episodes and some random clips here at Hulu. But first! Wait! First go

here

and read this article from The Atlantic about Community. Though aimed at non-viewers the article bears enough similes and extra-sitcomal character parallels to entertain junkies as thoroughly as a bent spoon with an Arrested Development movie teaser bubbling in it.

Well, specifically at in-jokes in Arrested Development which reference the actor in question’s previous acting experience. Confused? At one point Henry Winkler, Barry Zuckercorn, hops over a plastic inflatable shark. The Fonz has finally, once more jumped the shark. So yeah, this is an interesting and well done list from 11 Points.

Of course there’s a story behind this amazing piece of fictive nonfiction, a video essay if you will, and when bored it’s tough not to click on something titled “Absurd Reactions to Star Wars Episode One” even if just to laugh at crazy fanboys nerd-raging. This review had to have taken weeks to put together, is hilarious, and draws (through tiny fragments) a careful picture of such a likable serial murderer. He’s definitely more curmudgeon than Dexter Morgan, but it’s highly entertaining, and it is a close look at things like character development, story, and behind the scenes footage presumably form a special feature version of the movie. There is a lot of swearing so be forewarned.

(more…)

Oh no my geek is showing!

I can’t help it. I like Michael Cera. His innate awkwardness and comic timing is segueing nicely into a slightly smoother, awkwardness. But in a good way. Come on, he’s George Michael! Anyway, there’s a new movie coming out called Paper Hearts. It’s Michael Cera and his real life girlfriend Charlyne Yi in a romantic comedy. Though, from the trailer it seems to shy away from Get Over It territory and more into a bit of EdTV/tinged with Eternal Sunshine vibe. But, I could be reading way too much into the trailer.

Regardless of the movie entirely, there is a free contest. Details here. At Rotten Tomatoes. Wheeeeeeeee! Its to write a 140 character love poem (tweetable- and indeed submitted via twitter) and to follow the directions at Rotten Tomatoes. Michael and Charlyne will be picking their favorite, and a number of other winners. The grand prize is a trip to the Paper Hearts premiere. Woot. Free vacation! Here’s a trailer for the movie. Have fun.

Geocaching slightly confused me when I saw an ad on Seattle’s craig’s list for writers wanted. Geo= Earth. Caching= hiding stashes of something? Well, it turns out that that is exactly what it is. Kind of like a mix between Where’s George and a modern treasure hunt for anyone with access to a GPS device. People hide ‘geocaches’ whereever they feel like, and record the GPS coordinates on websites like Geocaching.com for others to find it. Why? Well, why not? Why do anything that doesn’t feel, clothe or shelter yourself? For fun. Geocaches usually contain a log for those who find it to log their discvery, and mini treasures, which are for the taking (with a deposit of similar value for the next hunter.) Some people include special prizes for FTF (first to find) and others include items like Travel Bugs, with additional instructions for those willing to take the bug to specified global locations.

Companies get into it too. Jeep conducted a geocaching event awhile back, which is what this travel bug is from.

I checked Geocaching to see if there were any caches near, I gave a 20 mile radius, because I figured if they were farther, I’d be much too lazy to go seek them out. Luckily, there were hundreds. One within 500 feet of my address. So if you’re ever bored, grab a gps ready device (many phones now have navigator type functions) and go find (or bury) some treasure.

Here is the link to Esquire’s Summer Fiction Contest.

The titles are:

1. “Twenty-Ten”

2. “An Insurrection”

3. “Never, Ever Bring This Up Again”

SO WRITE!!!

It’s simple enough for anyone who’s familiar with the Firestarter Exercises. Titles is a good exercise because of its ambiguity. A while ago NPR issued a challenge to fiction writers to write a story that included the image of a wedding cake in the middle of the road. Richard Bausch’s Tandolfo the Great introduced me to the collection NPR put together. It’s a fun assignment to try to work to your own whims.

HOORAY!!!

The program sounds really nice, its an Income Based Repayment (hence IBR) for student loans, which also forgives loans after 25 years, so you won’t be paying for your college textbooks with your social security (if that’s still around). So yeah, very exciting news for so many people, that their income calculator was overwhelmed and crashed temporarily. But it will be back soon.

That pretty much sums it up. It’s a stereotype, of course, but a funny one. Here’s the link to the article on College Humor and here is the first picture… can you tell? Science Fiction Writer or Crazy Person?

Read it here.

Although from the review’s tagline “a remembrance of how movies used to suck” tips the hat of the tone of his review, nothing sums up what he thinks of the movie better than an early simile “[Year One]’s like walking in the rain under an umbrella made of dog shit.” He does not like what he perceives as movie cliches, and isn’t shy about expressing that feeling of disgust. Check out his site, lots of hilarious and terribly honest reviews of movies fro the last decade(ish).

Did that title make sense? If not, let me break it down. Prepare your Amazon cart to spend $25, which means you could add the following to your order of

Reviewers have said it’s a “masterpiece” with touches deeper than a typical genre novel and “explores characters in a way that is true, whole, and touches deep down into the reality of a person.”

What’s it about?

(from publisher) Awake in the darkness, long after midnight, Long Beach Homicide Detective Danny Beckett is trying to keep his past at bay. Haunted by all the things he’s lost–his wife, his family, his hope–he begins to investigate the brutal murder of Elizabeth Williams, a popular High School English teacher. Soon Danny begins to understand that apprehending the murderer is not just a case to solved, but an act of personal redemption.

 What’s the Buying Event?

It is a effort to spike Amazon numbers with purchases so that it manages to match “you might like” or “other popular purchases” type lists that are programmed into Amazon to help suggestively sell more books.So, if you like detective or mystery novels, or just like reading period, on July 1st go buy Tyler Dilts’ A King of Infinite Space. Word.

La Mesa, California, in Grossmont Center’s Barnes and Noble at 7:30 for the “Third Wednesdays” poetry reading on 6/17/09 featuring Steve Kowit (Author of the wonderful writing ‘textbook’ “In the Palm of Your Hand” as well as great books of poetry and prose) and Terry Hertzler (publisher of Caernarvon Press and a great poet, and though I haven’t read any of his prose yet I’m sure its also very good). They’re both really great poets, and there’s an open mic afterward too for more local flavor. I just may have to clear my throat a few times and try reading again. Anyway, go to this reading if you’re anywhere in the area at all. If you’re in a poetry reading or writing class you can probably even talk your teacher into giving you some extra credit for going and writing a little essay about it.

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I have an EnV2. The secret is out. And, oh noes! Anyway, a lot of phones these days include a full keyboard for easier texting, which also means easier note-taking or brainstorming when on-the-go. Whether this means you woke up late for class, or you’re waiting for the East County Youth Symphony (they’re amazing, and the program– including weekly lessons– is completely free for the kids.) to begin, you again have the capability to write.

Maybe this is a problem that has only plagued me. I am constantly trying to write. First drafts of poems have occurred on TV Dinner boxes, but most often, on receipts. Or at least receipt paper. But now you don’t have to master the art of miniscule-printing, you have essentially a novelty, or micro-machines version of an old school Brother word processor, the evolutionary interstep between typewriters and computers for most consumers at the time. But I’m a hopeless narrative addict.

Enough dilly-dallying. On the EnV2 there’re easy shortcuts to get you directly to the Notepad function. (I love that Wordpress gave e a red underline for “there’re” but not dillydallying, even when I had it as one word. DON’T RELY on SPELLCHECK. It’s already bitten me in the ass more than once on this thing.) Menu (OK)-9-2-8. [If you’re curious, that’s for (9) Settings and Tools (2) Tools (8) Wordpad.] Four keytouches and you’re ready to either work from a saved file or start a new file.The keys are very small and I kind of feel like Will Ferrell in that Jeffrey’s skit where Jimmy Fallon kept laughing, using a thin stick to punch the keys, but I manage well enough, and will soon be testing the Wordpad function’s memory capabilities, because I have a feeling I’ll be using it a lot during downtime to work on projects.

Original Link : SNL Jeffreys Skit w/ Sean Hayes Uploaded by: bryantchoung

Even though it has little to do with his fondness for poetry, (Robbie Burns isn’t a favorite AND I’m majoring in poetry) Craig Ferguson has long been my favorite late night talk show host, and yes that’s including Conan. Don’t get me wrong, I love Conan, but the format of Craig’s show just gets e a bit more these days. I’m sorry. I am glad to be shed of Leno (though until Jimmy Fallon gets his stride, its a step back. But Leno’s a leap back from Carson, and he’s still occasionally hilarious, so let it be). These asides are confusing even me. So let’s get to it. A little while back Jessica and I were with some friends and convinced them to change the channel after a number of consecutive Fallon awkward moments to Ferguson, whom they’d never seen (aside from the Drew Carrey Show, which I still feel is kind of like Carrottop. Easy to make fun of and laugh at secretly. Come on, they’re puns, and we, as word nerds, should love them). And randomly he not only spent the entire monolog talking about poetry (and making fun of poetry as a subject of higher education– and rightly so, I guess. But one comment that really helped set me in my ways was from a History professor, who interrupted tangents about the history of beer and of flipping the bird (of which he was writing a book about), to share a short anecdote about a good friend of his, with a PhD in history who happily manages a Pizza Hut. The anecdote was lost on me, but the concept was not. And I hated the idea, but still couldn’t shake my want to learn more about writing. So I gave in. What is this? This is an introduction to two Craig Ferguson Monologues about poetry. Kind of. Why Two? Because when I searched for Craig Ferguson poetry Burns, I get a link from 2009 and I almost posted it unwatched. It was from the very beginning of the year, a separate monologue, which focused highly on poetry. So I have to post them both. They make me laugh a lot.

via videosift.com

and
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The show we’d seen originally.
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Many props to the guys who put someone charismatic behind a vocoder, instead of the standard brood of Fox, Pain, West and Abdul… First up we have Winston Churchill: “Great Declaration” remix

and then we have Martin Luther King Jr. “Let Freedom Ring” remix

So you can again get your fix of a year’s worth of poetry/prose exercises whenever you need to. Right here at the Firestarter Exercise page. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Firestarters are writing exercises to get the literary fires lit beneath your computer chair. Today’s is to write a short poem. Check it out and enjoy.

Yes, the TV channel JWTNY is to blame for this bit of entertaining eye candy while Billy Collins reads his poems slightly drone-like.

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Wait for it… wait for it… think about it being a kid’s show and the likelihood that they’ll get that four word retort. WOW. Thank you yet again Stephen Spielberg, for great entertainment.