Incendiary Lit

This is an interesting list of submission turn offs from the editor of The North American Review Vince Gotera. Those who are thinking about starting to submit their work for publication should check over this list, maybe even print it out. Those who already are submitting, look it over to make sure you’re not accidentally breaking submission etiquette. Everyone that has a Facebook profile should go here and friend “Friends of the North American Review”

Okay … for me, the “turn-off” is different for each poem I ultimately reject. Here are a few immediate turn-offs, in no particular order:

• Botched ending … forced, too explanatory, too “universalized”
• Clumsy use of form … for example, if sonnet or sestina, etc.
• Slow getting going … should rock from first line down
• Too much full rhyme … I prefer slant rhyme
• Uninformed line breaks … be aware of lineation effects
• Abstract or image-less … unless experimental
• Superficial topic or handling
• Obviously unaware of poetic tradition(s)
• Cover letter explains poem … inexperienced submitter
• Poem sent with vita or résumé … very inexperienced submitter
• Says “copyright …” … does writer think I’ll steal the poem?
• Centered lines … unless important for theme
• Badly edited … errors, typos, grammar, etc.
• Font too small … many editors are older and have old eyes
• Monotype font or font too fancy … hard to read quickly
• Pseudonyms … let’s back up our writing with our names, ppl
• Handwritten … usually from prisoners, though I’ve accepted
poems by prisoners.

There are other turn-offs but that’s all I can think of at the moment.

I do want to say that I don’t just drop the poem. My eyes touch every word. I read very quickly and wait for the poem to say, “whoa, you’re reading too fast.”

I almost called today’s Firestarter exercise “the morning after” but there are some negative connotations to that now. Thanks abortion pill– you forever stole 2 words. Which brought immediately to mind how “Here I sit” should be removed from the poet’s dictionary… well, strike that. They should be filed under the heading “DANGER WILL ROBINSON!” because no matter what your intentions, the next word that will pop into the reader’s head is “brokenhearted. ” and then they’ll think of bathroom stalls and poop and your reader’s mind is definitely in the wrong place. Well, depending on how crappy the poem is. YEAH! That’s right. A pun.  But seriously, as an editor I’ve read the phrase “here I sit” in at least five different pieces, and every time I finished the rhyme. Anyway, be careful when writing for those distinct, familiar phrases that call to mind very specific things like products (slogans), jokes, other poems… while an intention allusion is a completely different story, sometimes even common phraseology can take your reader, at least on one level, away from your poem entirely as the mind continues “came to sh*t / but only farted” despite the only similarity is “Here I sit.” Ya dig? Basically what I’m saying is, use your words with extreme caution.