Incendiary Lit

Now that Chris Brown’s beaten and partially eaten Rhianna Michael Phelps is taking a little less heat, but damn, leave him alone already. People need to grow up already and stop insisting that they control minuscule, inconsequential parts of others lives. SNL’s been very funny lately. This Karate Kid sketch was very funny also.

Enjoy. Do I even need to mention there’s going to be swearing?

If you know who Lil Jon is, you know this clip will be vulgar. Enjoy.

Since it’s now 2009, what better way to ring in the year than with a look back at some of the most memorable videos of the last year?

Here’s #2 from the blog of E!’s most entertaining show The Soup, featuring the catchiest Christian ska song I’ve ever heard, from the band Sonseed. And no, this wasn’t filmed in 1978. I checked.

You can check out The Soup’s entire list here.

This video came in at #7 on CollegeHumor.com’s Best of 2008 countdown, but personally I think it’s funnier than several of the videos that ranked higher. Maybe it’s because this song, Nickleback’s Photograph, was played so many times on Top 40 radio it was inescapable, just as much so as the fact that the lyrics are inescapably bad. Enjoy, and check out the rest of CollegeHumor’s list here.

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Chopped-Off Arm
by Hal Sirowitz

Don’t stick your arm out of the window,
Mother said. Another car can sneak up
behind us, & chop it off. Then your father
will have to stop, stick the severed piece
in the trunk, & drive you to the hospital.
It’s not like the parts of your telescope
that snap back on. A doctor will have to sew it.
You won’t be able to wear short sleeves.
You don’t want anyone to see the stitches.

Here is Hal Sirowitz reading the poem. This poem is from his book Mother Said (which is filled with such gems, as are My Therapist Said, and Father Said). Though I picture the character of Hal Sirowitz (as painted in the poems of Hal Sirowitz, which isn’t necessarily the real Hal) as a sort of cross between Albert Brooks and Woody Allen; consumately neurotic with a cast of outlandishly blunt people surrounding him. Very funny stuff.

In the long nights Mario Kart Double Dash kept us company, so there’s a soft spot in my heart for catching up after being blue shelled.

I don’t know why mistranslations and engrish are so funny, but they are. Check out this blurb for Batman Begins on a pirated DVD overseas. Also, I missed the part where Bruce Wayne turned into Spiderman.

more the engrish!

Within the “Tip of the Hat; Wag of the Finger” segment is this little literary gem. Of poor baseball bat. I never knew ye.

Ever wonder what it sounded like in the minds of a civilized battlerapper? Here you go.

The original video after the jump.
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see more pwn and owned pictures

I’d say I’m most like Mystikal, or, maybe a little Kobe Bryant too…

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Still obsessed with the Literal Take On Me, College Humor’s Metaphor-Free Radio is in a similar vein.

David Allan Greer’s Maya Angelou impersonation has returned! And surprisingly, Chocolate News isn’t as horrible as I was expecting. I shouldn’t be surprised, he was hilarious on In Living Color. Click the jump to see his PE-props-heavy rant about hip hop. I feel your pain DAG, Fight the powers that be… but I gotta say, I don’t have a *bad imitation of Flavor Flav commences* Goddddd Complexx.

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A-ha’s Take on Me re-dubbed with narrative lyrics written to fit the classic music video. The guy’s voice is actually good too, oddly enough for a parody video online. Favorite line: “You go through first / I’m gonna kick some ass with my own pipe wrench.”