The Happening has happened, no matter how much I wish it hadn’t
I didn’t want to write about M. Night Shyamalan’s newest movie, because I treasure his other movies so much. Except Signs. Not attached to that one for some reason. But The Village, Unbreakable, Sixth Sense, and even Lady in the Water are all good, or at least entertaining stories, and the heavy-handed “F-U” to film critics was still funny. But The Happening was… bad. I tried, and I tried to like it. I tried to let it sit for a few hours. Maybe it had some interesting subtle thing that I just needed to find, but no. (SPOILERS) It contains scenes of running from the wind (which is very much faster than human capabilities at about 13mph in short bursts) in a very (sadly) The Day After Tomorrow way. There is some nonsense about crowds when some crowds were still ok, despite the same wind blowing on them… Zooey Deschanel reminds me very much of Anna Faris, goofy girls who are kind of pretty, but they’re just really kind of hammy. Like Madeline Kahn. Love her to death in campy movies like Blazing Saddles and Clue, but if you thrust her into a tense movie where you’re supposed to actually believe her struggles… bah. One thing really stuck out as being poor writing: heavy-handed foreshadowing of Mark Wahlberg’s character being so surprised that there was a terrorist attack in Central Park. That’s not entirely unbelievable. It is an American landmark where large groups congregate, and there isn’t that much security, yet Elliot was immediately intrigued by the fact that there was an attack in the park. I can appreciate the concept of the movie, the theme of scientific thought only being theories in so many areas, and that we may never really know why things happen. That ignorance in the face of nature is why God was invented by the ancestors of man. Or perhaps before that by some amoeba that had an electrical impulse, or maybe God was the cause of that electrical impulse, “And then there was light” and all that. The point is, it’s a point. However, the point of telling a story is showing us, with your God-like omniscience what the actual cause is in this little alternate film version of a world. And if you want to make a better movie than The Happening you’ll do that without being ridiculously inconsistent. The characters (except John *I Friggan Love* Leguizamo) were unlikable, the running and hiding was very, very reminiscent of War of the Worlds, which is sort of inevitable, but could have been handled better, and just the ridiculous inconsistency and sheer audacity to claim an airborne toxin picks and chooses who it affects despite close proximity. I tried to play the poor acting on a campy spin, much like Lady in the Water, but it’s completely just poor direction. It wasn’t supposed to be nearly as funny as it was, which is why I’ve ruled that although The Happening happened, I’m going to pretend it didn’t and still go see M. Night’s next movie and hope I don’t have to write him off like so many already have. Being the Writer, Producer and Director allows too much room to write something crappy, especially dialog. Just ask George Lucas. Everyone should have a good editor who resides outside of their own head and ego. I know I do.