For your enjoyment “How me breaking up with you is like Jon Lester pitching a no-hitter against the Royals” by Michael Nelson Price at McSweeney’s
Since it’s on their website, I’d rather link to it than post it, but “How me breaking up with you is like Jon Lester pitching a no-hitter against the Royals” is a hilarious story in the form of an email. Here’s a short selection from the analogous piece:
Yes, I know we were together two years. Did you know the Royals hadn’t been no-hit for 35 years? Yes, I know how much you’ve committed to the relationship. Do you have any idea how much my collection of George Brett jerseys cost? Yes, it will be awkward for you to see me at work. You know what will be really awkward? The Royals finishing a four-game series against a team that just no-hit them. Can you step outside your own selfish world and imagine that for a second?
So check it out, it’s pretty short and really funny. Also browse around McSweeney’s while you’re there, they host copious amounts of great stuff. And you can even make a donation to help Sudan’s Lost Boys.